The substitute bench wasn’t her thing!
«After being rejected in a women’s team in her hometown, Chubut, she managed to make her voice heard throughout her country and reached the International Olympic Committee, changing the rules of sports in the whole world. A chat with the first trans hockey player in Argentina who managed to push the boundaries on the field..»
How long has hockey been part of your life? How did it help and how did it hurt?
Hockey’s been in my life for as long as I can remember, because I had three older sisters who played it. That awoke a passion in me, which I started to cover up when I turned 10 and decided to respect myself, when I started understanding what was going on in me. Even though back then I didn’t understand what a transition was (the process of changing one’s gender), I stopped playing because I couldn’t keep doing sports with men. I didn’t feel like one. But two years later, my family’s hate made me start playing again in a male team in Trelew, as an escape from the loneliness I felt behind closed doors. In that club, I met wonderful people, who really loved me for who I was. At school, in my neighborhood and everywhere else I was still called a “fag,” but now I was able to find some love and empathy. Living that gave me the strength to leave that sport for good, because I became aware that we were living in a society that wasn’t even prepared to see us walking down the street by day.
But still, you held on to hockey and now your struggle has become an example for all trans athletes…
How could I have imagined back then that many years later I’d fight my way into changing the rules of sports as I did! (laughs).In 2014 I started practicing again in Club Atlético Germinal, in Rawson, with my new ID in my backpack. There was a rumor that they wouldn’t let me compete because I was a trans girl. And that rumor was confirmed by the club’s secretary, who couldn’t even tell me what the honest reason behind this decision was. I didn’t hesitate —I grabbed the phone and called the president of the club that very second. I had a 40-minute conversation where I got to see very clearly all the phobia he felt for LGBTQI+ people, his transphobia, his hatred towards our community, and which ended up with this phrase:“Look, do whatever you like, but as long as I’m here, you’re not playing!””.
We’re already used to being discriminated against. Sometimes we even normalize it. But I felt empowered. I wanted to go back to hockey! So I decided, with the help of a friend, to record a video and upload it on Facebook. I had a hard time recording it, but I shook off my fear and pressed EnterThree days later, it became viral in Argentina, and seven days later it was all over the world. I felt 80% of Argentina had come to my aid. People sent me photos from international newspapers where I was in the front cover. It was really hard for me to grasp what was happening, until right in the middle of all that media craze, my sister called me up and said: “Jessi, you talk on TV like you’re in a supermarket. Do you realize you’re making history here? ". That’s when it hit me.
Through that process of liberation, did the feminist movement help?
In a way —not the movement, but a big percentage of CIS women who reached out and gave me their support through the photo campaign #TodxsSomosJessica (we’re all Jessica). It gave me the notion that we were all together. There’s a feminism that shuts trans women out, so I can’t say I feel a part of it. And I don’t have time to listen to what those girls think.
I believe feminism is about going out to the streets every day, holding your head up high. Being confident. When I stop and think about everything I’ve done on a personal and a social level, I feel I’ve given a lot, so I feel I’m on the right path, I’m giving something to society, to the community.
“Any human being needs company, needs a hand on their back, both when they fail and when they succeed.”
You’ve managed to change sports history —that’s your legacy. Do you feel the way’s been paved or is there still a long way to go for future generations of athletes?
I think just being able to be on the pitch, to enter a club and compete is a big step forward. However, there’s still a long way to go. Unfortunately, most of the front offices in the clubs and sports institutions are full of chairmen who reject diversity. We clearly have to keep growing. A transphobic guy, a hater, got in my way and thought he could shut me up, just like it happens to most of us. But if I’d talked to an empathic president, someone who had said, “Jessica, we’ve never had a case like this. Could you come over so we can see how to handle the situation?”, I would have known I was talking to a man who makes good use of his chair. Why, in the face of the unknown, should we just say no? We have to make room for learning, turn ignorance into knowledge.
How do you feel visibility of trans people has made an impact on media, and not just sports media?
For any human being, it takes time and exposure to take in something new, to accept it or realize that it’s OK. I think that’s super important. I was 21 when I arrived in Buenos Aires, the City of Fury, the city that has everything to give and a lot to take. I went through a lot, I even slept on the streets, became an addict. I hit rock bottom, but I decided to follow my dreams, and I managed to be chosen as the face of DOVE in all Latin America. To keep dreaming makes you stronger. By then I was starting to believe there was no other use for trans women other than standing in corners. That was the biggest achievement and the greatest success of my life. It even helped me strengthen my relationship with my family. They finally believed in me.
“I think I managed to survive out of courage.”
With the aim of ensuring a certain amount of equality, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) requires levels of testosterone lower than 10 nmol/L for at least 12 months before the first competition, and this applies to all female athletes, whether they’re transgender or not. Do you think these kinds of restrictions are necessary?
I firmly believe that we always have to be in equal conditions if we compete against women. The IOC sets these requirements even when we transgender women do it because we want to, and not because somebody tells us to have hormone treatment. We believe we need it, we think it helps us, it brings us closer to femininity, or masculinity in the case of transgender men. We have to bear in mind that the IOC is international. And very few countries have Gender Identity Laws —Argentina has been ground-breaking in that sense. So I think it’s OK, because at least we took a first step forward. We’re already inside the pitch!
What they say about her…
“In my opinion, telling Jessica’s story is eye-opening, it helps people understand we need our society to be more equal, and sports to be more inclusive and transmit certain values —because Jessica is the one who succeeded. Today, you see her and she looks radiant. But how many people got left behind and couldn’t keep practicing their sports, couldn’t build a good relationship with their families? How many people have been beaten up or even killed out of transphobia? Jessica herself has been discriminated against, beaten almost to death. Listening to her story makes us open our eyes so that things can start to change. Meeting her, watching her face to face, has pushed my boundaries, transforming me.”
Cecilia Carranza Saroli
In one word,
Proud
- Acceptance
Highperformance athlete
– - Dreaming
Athlete and trans woman
- Conviction
